Let Your Waves Crash Down
by MeredithGreyShepherd
Summary: Derek and Meredith talk. Some good angsty angst.


Yep, well, here's some good ole fashioned angst for ya. It's great, isn't it? sighs Hmm. Oh, the story right. The song is called "Fix You" by Coldplay. Sad sad sad song. Hence my brother forced me to listen to it hours on end. -- beyond the point. Well, anyways, here's your good ole fashioned angst I promised ya.

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_When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

Meredith ran crying out of the hospital. Her cancer patient had died and it was all her fault. One simple thing she had to do, and she ruined it. Ruined it all. She had chickened out and killed her.

Derek ran, yelling after her.

"Meredith! It wasn't your fault! The little girl had too much damage to her brain already!" he caught her arm.

"DON'T!" she screamed, ripping her arm out of his grip. "Don't TOUCH me!" 

Tears were running down her face, smeared mascara on her wet cheeks. But Derek didn't give up. He didn't stop running after her. He grabbed her again, more firmly this time.

"Meredith, look at me." he said soothingly. She didn't once look him in the eye.

"Don't do this..." he said, through clenched teeth.

"Don't do WHAT DEREK? Don't blame myself for something _I_ did!"

The sobbing was getting louder and louder, more frequent with each second that passed. The pain getting worse and worse in his body at ever tear that ran down her face.

_When the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?_

His grip on her wrist was even worse than before.

"Derek. Just. Leave. Go back to your wife. I bet she needs you now. Because I sure as hell don't!" she screamed, not trying to contain what she felt right now. She wanted to try and show him the pain she felt at that moment. At that simple moment in time of what it felt like. What it felt like to have no one.

He didn't move. She didn't move. They stared in one another's eyes, not knowing what to do. Not knowing who should move. Not knowing who would break the utter silence.

Meredith decided to. She ripped her arm out of his grip once more as she started to stomp away agian.

"Meredith, just because I picked my wife DOES NOT mean I didn't stop caring about you!" he yelled as he continued to pursue her through the parking lot.

"Derek, don't try and lie to me anymore! STOP acting like you care about me! STOP trying to comfort me! AND STOP acting like you're my boyfriend!" she screamed, now inches away from his face. She could feel his warm breathing on her face. The tingling going up her spine. The rush. Oh, how she loved the feeling of the rush.

Derek was trying to fight the urge. Trying to fight the urge not to take her in his arms. Take her in his arms and tell her he loved her.

Meredith turned and started to storm away again.

Just then, Derek lost it.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
High up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
If you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth_

He snatched her arm again, gripping it harder than before. He pulled her so she was inches away from his face again. Inches away from his lips.

"Meredith. Did it EVER occur to you that I don't love Addison! Did it ever occur to you that I miss you too! Did it ever occur to you that you might be the ONLY thing that is ever on my mind! And did it EVER occur to you that I STILL might be in love with you!" he yelled.

He turned and stormed away, leaving her breathless with nothing to say. Nothing at all.

Only the one thought she had in her mind.

Derek loved her.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And I_

Meredith didn't go back to work for days. She didn't talk to anyone and no one _tried_ to talk to her.

She went back to work after the little "incident" she had witnessed at the hospital. On the day of her return, she found an unexpected note in her locker. In his curvy handwriting, it read:

**I am still in love with you Meredith. And I want you to know that I will never stop caring about you. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, I will always love you. And I will always be here for you. Always**

Love,   
Derek

And Meredith didn't know whether to believe him or not.

_Tears stream down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

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Well there it is. I know it's rushed. And I didn't have time to read over it. I have to leave now. Stupid freaking shopping. So if I made ANY mistakes, I'm terribly sorry.

Ta ta for now.

REVIEW.


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